Unfamiliar Sound

When did it come to this
Yesterday you couldn't stop telling me how much I was missed
Left it with a kiss
Now we always pissed
Never thinking about how it affects the kid
I want a family with you why can't you understand
But the way you act makes me think there is another man
But we fall apart
Break my heart in more ways than one
Now the only thing that brightens my day is the sun
Our son oh how he is growing up
I wanted to grow old with you but what I do is never enough
So you leave
Me to believe
That there is no more love
The struggle has come between us
All the memories never happened
The screams replace all the laughing
This is everything I never imagined
Love turned to hate how tragic
I just want us to work
But you don't seem to care how much it hurts
My pride keeps me alive
When I feel dead inside
You show me all my worth
How times change
I remember it all so clearly
I wish the pain went away
You can't even be near me
Because you say you fear me
The feelings were so endearing
Now when I speak from my heart you can't hear me
You don't look at me the same anymore
This is the most difficult thing I have ever endured
All this suffering had no cure
I almost pulled out a ring for our future
But the fighting made me say no more
Now I live in remorse
I have no last resort
I even almost had to take it to court
We supposed to be married girl
Your mine an I'm yours
Tell me what is this all for
I grew up with out a father
He cheated on my mother
Iv been faithful I want no other
I don't want us raising this child with out each other
I wish it could be different
I don't want all the pictures of our son and me with you missing
Love brought us here
Now it appears to have disappeared
It is me wanting you to be in my arms where you belong
But this hopeless dream seems so far
It's so hard
I pretend to not care
I swear I wear and tear and I can't bare
Looking at the pillow next to me and your not there
What we had was so rare
It's time to settle down
I want you around
In today's world love is such an unfamiliar sound
Is it too late to play it now?

- Jigsaw

Adolescence

Going through puberty
Lost in scrutiny
Unconcerned of missed opportunities
Animals living along side teenage cruelty
A time in our life of confusion
Searching for amusement
Cruising afraid of losing
Wish we could freeze our youth
Ignore the truth in everything that we do
We don't pause on our flaws but carry on
Looking for fun at any cost
Hoping the morals we were taught
Doesn't conflict with the intentions in our thoughts
Wanting a new experience
Innocence and ignorance stolen when temptation is an interference
The rush from lust can be too much
We want to taste and touch alcohol and drugs
Parents on your case
Tired of living at their pace
Frustration rises
Rebellious tendencies lead to unwelcome surprises
Friends are made
Enemies are encountered
Adolescence is the period that we are found in
Weekends are the seasons of freedom
A reason to go against obedience and relieve stress from within us
Teachers become dictators
Parents become cops
Caught in between what we want and what we are not
Standards are set
Expectations prevent
Our ability to be confident as we progress
Worried that we will never be accepted
Unwilling to live regretting
It becomes difficult to adjust to this unsettling setting
We begin to live vicariously through those who want to see us succeed
Pressure builds up and it becomes so hard to breathe
Trying to break free from the chains of Sports academics family
Our problems and religious beliefs
Turned down and pushed back fucks with our self esteem
One mind is split
Your heart is divided and on verge on calling it quits
It is such a challenge
To live a life that is balanced
There comes a point and time you doubt yourself
And the reasoning for everything else
All I know is we grow each moment
Evolve and problem solve
Mistakes are made
Lessons are learned
Memories we create
Inside us a fire burns
High school years of complexity
Everything results unexpectedly
Responsibility becomes an unlikely possibility
Searching for fulfillment's necessities
Becomes a difficulty especially
When there are so many emotions
So many doubts
Doors opening and closing
Hoping understanding will be found

- Jigsaw

Blessings

Now I never took my blessings for granted
Even through havoc
I learned how to manage
No matter how tragic
The madness never attracts my sadness
I have grown accustomed to the truth things don't turn out to how you imagine
It can get hard to keep passion
When you feel like collapsing
No matter what happens
I don't want to live average
That's not how I plan it
It won't always be fantastic
It's always a surprise like magic
But I'm still a frantic fanatic
Chasing ecstasy I hope one day I will have it
A part of me wants a bad bitch with ass tits along with strong assets
I'm not with the fake plastic
Girlls who are stuck up an stretch guys out like elastic
But real women who stick to principles
Goals and obstacles are simple
When it comes to being an issue
Because they unfuckwittable right to their fucken tissue
Because they are determined motivated
Optimistic and never intimidated
A girl that expressing feeling emotions
And leaves it out in the open
Bad situations provoking hoping
For promoting their ways of coping through the thick air thats so potent
The motion is such a complex notion
Can't rest through the stress of reaching success
Because when life fucks you over its just meaningless sex
Can I protest through the mess of tests trying to make your integrity stretch
Because life is a privilege
People can never give in
Today can be the finish
If we skip it
And don't enjoy the vivid image we are living
We might miss it
Get the picture
I can be difficult to read like a sloppy signature
I can be a dick but my name isn't Richard
I'm too nice to those who don't give a fuck
And too harsh with those who show me nothing but love
Why is that
Crooked like sin bad
Piling up the the things I take back
Something like "put it on my tab"
Just speeding through life like a taxi cab
Looking forward is so easy when you afraid to look back
Memoirs of a lost individual
Slipping in sin
In a critical condition of senseless cynical
Habits
Why am I so attracted
To girls that are selfish and immature
Trying to get the best out of these fucken girls when there is no cure
Why is masturbation such a fascination
That gives me rejuvenation when I get frustrated like a car at the gas station
Come to face it
I'm spacing vacant
In my absent basement
Misplacement of my innocence has long been awaited
My life is under appreciated
I'm patient but wide awake through the pain with no sedation
So easy to be blunt
I don't give a fuck
Living once
So I can't even afford caring any given month
Premeditated and judged
In public I plunge
Right into the subject of a rugged loose Harriet Tubman
Lust in my heart connects me to my desires and wants like a conjunction
Because underground of my surface is some super spiritual shit
But I'm trying to jump off this superficial cliff
High and lows
Lost on the road that has no signs pointing which way to go
Scratch that
Pass that
I'm trying to be different
Something 2 chainz never envisioned
Split like division
Cut into my soul make an incision
Because I'm never used to change
I mean you can't prepare for life and what it takes
Because typically I'm silly on the outside
But inside you can't read my mind and the time invested into counting my steps to climb
I'm crippled by morals that I used to live by
Now I'm sinful I participate in hedonism I realize
Iv change in a way I can't explain
I mean I remember being self conscious while my conscience would always tell me to be cautious of making a mistake
I don't know what I take seriously anymore
I'm curious to know what it is all for
There is no great enough of a award
After your soul has been torn
With the devious mischievous poisonous envy
I hear the devil whispering in my ear trying to tempt me
Pain is pleasure and Im an addict
I need rehab to release me from this cage I'm trapped in
Seems like every day there is chaos and catastrophe
Hard work rarely pays off and being fake is main stream
Chasing dreams is nothing but a common reality
But I can't stop having nightmares
Like I'm living on elm street
It's funny how unique we all try to be
When we are all the same on the inside charged by the same battery
Sometimes I wonder if I live for me
Or for my family
I mean we all want a ending that's happily
Ever after
Is immpossible when we live in a natural disaster
I mean I remember hoping for a fairy tell
I use to not take in the facts very well
I trust almost anyone I meet
Calm I keep
A couch I sleep
Lost taste in the food I eat
Holes in my souls like someone walked on it with cleats
My mind can be weak
As strong as it may seems
There are point and times I feel I'm not me
Life becomes dull ultimately
Parents and relatives slowly drifting
A late bloomer my pedals are shifting
Bug bites no longer sting
I don't ponder on the little things
Cut off my puppet strings
Parents you are not welcome please
I'm so dependent
Watching over my every move might as well finish my fucken sentence
So ask me what's my motivation
Question when the old me and new me created separation
Doubt my future destination
Criticize my yearning for physical sensations
I'm alert I I go berserk until it hurts and burns like I'm laying in turf
Count the minutes
Watching the seconds
In a instant
Life can turn from pleasant to a wreckage
So I have developed a certain skill
I'm sure it's not a surprise to reveal
I stay optimistic
When live is getting twisted
Emotions might mix in
But I never let it cease me like twitches
I might get cut up from bitches
But my pride will be the stitches
I might break but I will always fix it
Devil will never put me in submission
With all these blessings given
I promise to never give in
You have God as my whiteness

- Jigsaw